Create Agency!

To the Emerging Neuro-Atypical

Create Agency! Write Your Own Manual.

The BZZZ Rule

“We are not broken.”
That’s the only time I’ll say it.

Because focus takes practice.
And this talk is about building, not reacting.

Audience rule:
🗣 If I slip back into talking about what we are not—
Yell “BZZZ!”

Universal Principle #1

Tools make things easier

If a tool doesn’t reduce friction, it’s not a tool—it’s an ornament.

My Origin Story

• First autistic diagnosis in Houston, TX
• Parents: Biology professors with scientific instincts
• Fairhill Elementary: early adaptive education
• Learned to build systems—and learned to omit myself from them

Universal Principle #2

You can choose your conversations

You don’t owe your attention to every signal.
You can step in. You can step out. You can rewrite your role.

Theory of Everything (ToE)

My ToE: - All information is culturally transmitted - Cultures are sets of conversations - Conversations are bundles of information

I use this to choose where—and how—I participate.

CWH: Working Hypotheses

“Believe,” “know,” “understand”—for me, they’re all shorthand for:

Current Working Hypothesis

This gives me: - Flexibility without shame - Strength without arrogance - A toolbox, not a dogma

Universal Principle #3

Accurate models enable effective action

Example: Jobs - Companies may see NA employees as risky - Consultants = lower perceived risk - I don’t apply—I propose
→ And that has opened doors a résumé couldn’t

Final Principle (for now)

You will build your own tools.
These are mine.
Use them as blanks. Modify. Break. Rebuild.

The point isn’t to follow—
It’s to practice agency by modeling and building in your own way.

Thank You

Dan Mailman
dan@danmailman.net
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